Yeah, the angry, devious yet fun loving black man is back with a story to tell. First I gotta give a shot out my boy MONGO. Welcome back bro. Second, Cuban calm the fuck down you know damn well we are all coming and are honored to be apart of the 1st ever Ministry wedding. Third, Kaiser is a fuckin genius. This page is awesome. Ok, now for the story.
In my adventures through the Mid-Atlantic states a couple of old friends relay info that there would be a FREE Papa Roach concert in Baltimore at a place known as Power Plant live a fine collection of bars and clubs that rival any other in the US of A. Heavy consumption was the goal of the night and that goal was completed with no interference. We enjoyed the concert, the "scenery" and the expensive fuckin drinks and proceeded to stumble and stagger to the car 3blocks away to beat the rest of the drunks out of the city before checkpoints and horrific gridlock sprung up. But not before some " Glen Burnie Fat Bitch Drama". Glen Burnie= a city in MD that no one wants to admit they are from but you can pick their pale, cavilier, civic or neon driving fat sloppy, krimped hair, country sounding crack whore looking ass out in any crowd. On our way to the car we stumble across some ass clown that couldn't handle his likaz and passed out by a parking meter cluthcing a McDonalds bag......Can't resist....Out comes the camera and a couple of dollars...harmless pic op. WRONG! Out of nowhere emerges this war elephant with all the characteristics I just named plus some. It demands we leave and not take the picture..we tell her to stand down and take her fuckin midol....that is whe the bitch lost her fuckin mind. The war elephant went on a rampage and threatened to destroy us all. We simply told her to go back to GLEN BURNIE and she inadvertently screamed that she was not from there( yet reaking clearly so). It continued to follow us taunting us until I gave in turned around and told her to stampede the other way making myself Ground Zero for the impending attack. I wash bum-rushed and slapped 5 FUCKIN TIMES IN THE FACE before i realized what was happening. That is when the beast had to be taken down. Grabbing one arm I tried to subdue raging whore but was then slapped with the other. I grabbed the other and Zambora tried to break free thus getting herself launched across the sidewalk onto the ground which resulted in one of her sandbag boobs popping out of her low cut moo-moo. She sprung back up as if asking for a genuine ass whooping. Fear reprisal I was dragged away but no reprisal was to be had. Funny enough her TRAINER AKA Boyfriend watched the whole thing and finally came to her rescue after the fact. He was smart enough to take her away with his mouth shut thus not getting his ass whooped although he could have prevented the whole thing. Obviously she had pissed him off earlier that night. The bad thing about it is I don't feel bad about launching her fat ass. I AM MAD BECAUSE THE WHORE MADE ME SOBER! Going big has been takin to a different level with inadvertent domestic abuse in clear view of the police who did nothing about it. Somebody put me down for 5 hrs of fun.
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5 comments:
Stats will be added. I got a few of my own to add after the night before last too, although i had a fight with the road i fell on and not a giant Mannoroth sized sweathog. as Mongo once said in Fez's dream, sometimes you just gotta kick a bitch in the stomach.
by the way, i see that the same person who says "hey boo" on your myspace is also from Glenburnie.
That is the greatest story of all time! I would loved to be their as an eye witness!
yeah, there are a few who slip through the cracks. Houses in that area are a modest 200-350 thousand dollars which is dirt cheap for MD. some hotties are imbeded but raging obesity and lack of hygiene are the majority. My parents acual address is a Glen Burnie zip code but I won't claim it...thier back yard is Millersville.
Well i will say, that was the best thing i have heard in a while, plus there were no grammatical errors. Brilliant work. I would have loved to seen your face during that, it would have been priceless. Thank you.
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