Fire This Fucker

Tony Kornheiser from Monday Night Football. Someone please shoot this man in the face. Its not enough that he's even worse Than Dennis Millier was, and Miller knows nothing about sports. Kornholer has to try to be funny, and fails miserably. He looks like a back alley hobo who just finished his third bottle of 6 dollar vodka, and speaks like "that guy" at parties, the one you want to smash a chair over.
As if all that werent enough, every time the names Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, or especially Brett Favre are mentioned, his eyes light up like an anime J-Pop fanboy, and suddenly he can't fit enough dick in his mouth.
The only thing sparing the mute button a thorough smashing is that Jaws and Mike Tirico have somehow tuned this guy out, and totally ignore his amateur attempts at humor. Please MNF, anyone would be better than Kornholer. Its time for a Suzy Kolber promotion to the booth; at least she has some credibility and reasoning for wanting to suck QB's dicks.

Tragedy? or....

So southern California is burning to the ground. Thats too bad. I cant help but think that the people from New Orleans are having a little fun with this. The same people who wore a bracelet for a few weeks instead of donating Katrina relief money are now homeless. I'm even laughing at the ones who did maybe shell out 5 or 10 bucks, because did any of that cash make it there anyway? I just have one thing to say to you Malibu: BUY ANOTHER ONE YOU RICH MOTHAFUCKA.

Well we are back

Everyone knows that we are back and not partying as hard as my fuzzy memory tells me we did. All i know is, i am cut the hell up, my body is one continuos bruise, rocky spilled jack and coke all over my room, i forgot how orange piss could be, my standards are non existent, vin is still ridiculously angry, I saw negro moses on the bull, kaiser can out drink me with beer, the cubans afro is like our old sgt major, black white and grey, Gerber hasn't spilt his beer......yet and through it all i still haven't learned the proper use of the semi-colon and comma. There will be more, but for now that covers about everything,

Better dead than red
fez

New Nightowls

Joker and Jib have received meritorious commission into the Nightowl Ministry.
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20 Reasons why I hate everything....

Thanks to the fuckin Marine Corps and courtesy of TQ, Iraq I have been absent for the past 3months... you would think that after 5 GODDAMN YEARS the internet situation in that SHITHOLE country would gradually get better but NO that couldn't possibly be further from the case. They labeled this site as malicious and then some other bullshit.... alright! I'm getting to the fuckin point and that is I am back and angrier than ever! I would give you twenty reasons why I hate everything but I don't feel like it and you bitches already know why. Have a nice fuckin day!

A Tragedy

So as the Nightowls approached after yet another long trip from the land of mcmap and bus rides, one Night Owl (fez) had a broken heart……
The first words out of his mouth to me were….

Where is Kaiser?

See you homo’s are meant for each other! Let the drinking begin

Seattle supports katrina victims

New Orleans has had it rough since hurricane katrina. Thats why the Seahawks decided to do some charity work tonight, when they "played" against the Saints. The saints had only 1 sack coming into tonights game, so seattle decided to let them have 5. They also only had 51 points in four games, so the seahawks decided it was best to let them run up the score in the first half. Shaun Alexander's wrist hurt too much for him to move his legs, so he took the night off, even though he was dressed for the game and was in for several offensive plays. From now on I will be refering to the seahawks coach as Adolf Holmgren, since he and Hitler have a lot in common. They both consider themselves geniuses, and both become enraged by their subordinates not being able to execute their completely ludicrus attack plans. Anyway, it was a great day for goodwill as the Seahawks provided an uplifting service to the downtrodden New Orleans Katrina victims. Keep up the good work, you fucking cocksuckers.

Chins Namath Junior

Here he is ladies and gentlemen, the first Nightowl offspring to be brought into the world. Brady Witherspoon, 8 lb. 6 oz. of whiskey and bud light was born the other day, and now is ready to wreak havok upon the daycare community, build up his tolerance, and eventually take his father's place among the Nightowls. If he's anything like Spoon, its a good thing hes got diapers.

Gerber and Ira

Okay you too, your emails have been sitting in my box for too long. I finally remembered to invite you bastards, and now you should have posting priviledges here. Make your google acount using your email address, and use your callsign as your posting name. If you cant figure it out, get a fellow Nightowl to help you. Also Jollyred & Cuban, the name Luvgun sucks, try to come up with a better one that fits her.

Count down to liver D-day

Well i have been sober for way to long.... or not long enough. Who really knows, one thing is for sure that no one is ready for Dr. Gonzo.

A preview of whats to come

Oh yes...its getting close for that time again

Steroids For Jed

Another sport has come up positive for "banned substances" this week. No, its not finally basketball or hockey, its bullriding. I have no idea why a bullrider would need to bulk up, It seems to me that it would be more fun to juice up the animals and watch them stomp the shit out of those god damn humans on their backs. If anyone should be on steroids in that sport its the dumb bastards who get to distract the bull after it throws billy joe clampett off of him and decides he needs a horn up his ass. Rodeo clowns should most certainly be allowed to gain any advantage they want. They arent part of the competition, and they probably dont need functional testicles anyway.