Anyone who's seen the way I dress in public knows that i have no fashion sense. they may also know that most of the time i couldnt give a two stroke fuck about that. But they probably dont know that even if i see an extremely hot girl walk by, she looks like the fucking swamp-thing to me if she's wearing any of these select objects on her body, that irrationally cause me to picture myself strangling her to death with my belt.
Snow Boots.
In the places people care most about their looks (warm places), they are also wearing god damn snow boots. as if any second, a blizzard is going to explode through downtown los angeles and blanket the entire city in arctic temperatures and turn everyone wearing normal shoes into god damn ice sculptures.
snow boots with a dress, snow boots with shorts, snow boots with a bikini probably isnt far off. it isnt hot all the time, or everywhere, so confining this to warm weather, if you have furry little elf boots on, this is your new name:
Robin Hoodrat
Gigantic Sunglasses.
Thanks for this Paris Hilton. and thank you everyone for following the trend of this semen belching trash and turning your face into a storyboard from a 60's horror movie. Ive never met a single male who thinks this looks good. even if you have a little muffin top, thats fine. if you have stumpy legs or a club thumb, or maybe youre flatter than a 10 year old boy, its cool, those can be ignored.
but if you have the head of a praying mantis because you saw some plastic clown prop with hubcap sized lenses, and had to have them just because thats what a Kardashian was wearing last night, all bets are fucking off until you put them away. your name:
Clown Mantis
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Survivalist my ass
I fucking hate the majority of whats on TV, and I especially hate reality TV. The worst example of it was something I saw tonight. not jersey shore, which is nothing but a bunch of spray tanned drunken dipshits yelling at each other about things that matter just a little bit less than what color their shit was that morning. not flavor of love, where they take 20 of the most useless, loudmouthed, attention whores, and make them fight over a guy that any respectable AIDS ridden prostitute with a pussy the size of a toilet bowl wouldnt fuck.
This show, they have two guys, one is a supposed ex military bad ass, and the other is some shoeless hobo, and they stick them in the wilderness and film them trying to survive.
the military guy has the instinctual aptitude of a moth thats stuck in a room where the walls are made of nothing but bug zappers, and for some reason, they decided to pick the most whiny, unadaptive faggot in the entire US military to be out there in uncomfortable places. Even the most disagreeable of marine corps recruits knows that something like that is going to suck, but they should probably spend a little bit more than 50% of their time doing something to survive instead of standing around listing the reasons theyve failed in it. if it werent for the TV network this fuck would have died of starvation, exposure, or depression before half of the first season was over.
the hippie that he's paired with is even more of a disgrace. this shaggy, disheveled cocksmoker has honed his survival chops from not wearing shoes, using solar energy and eating nothing but rabbit food for 15 years. nice try asshole, but if you arent willing to kill something in the wild and use its body to feed or clothe you, the only reason you lived is because the discovery channel was there to slip you a fleece poncho and some beef jerky. and the worst part, the single dumbest thing i've seen on TV from a supposed expert, is the reason he doesnt wear shoes. the very first episode of this pile, they arrive at some mountain wilderness covered with snow and ice. he is fucking barefoot. his explanation?
"most people dont know that if you tie your boots too tight, it cuts off circulation and you get frostbite".
yeah? apparently you DID know that, so why dont you put some boots on and not tie them too fucking tight? even better, you know what most people DO KNOW? that if you walk around in the snow with bare feet, and tell anyone else that its better than having some kind of footwear, you are a fucking retard. what a pioneer you are, devolving from the knowledge that the god damn cavemen had.
fuck TV, especially reality TV, but most of all, fuck these two assholes and the dickwads that put them on the air.
This show, they have two guys, one is a supposed ex military bad ass, and the other is some shoeless hobo, and they stick them in the wilderness and film them trying to survive.
the military guy has the instinctual aptitude of a moth thats stuck in a room where the walls are made of nothing but bug zappers, and for some reason, they decided to pick the most whiny, unadaptive faggot in the entire US military to be out there in uncomfortable places. Even the most disagreeable of marine corps recruits knows that something like that is going to suck, but they should probably spend a little bit more than 50% of their time doing something to survive instead of standing around listing the reasons theyve failed in it. if it werent for the TV network this fuck would have died of starvation, exposure, or depression before half of the first season was over.
the hippie that he's paired with is even more of a disgrace. this shaggy, disheveled cocksmoker has honed his survival chops from not wearing shoes, using solar energy and eating nothing but rabbit food for 15 years. nice try asshole, but if you arent willing to kill something in the wild and use its body to feed or clothe you, the only reason you lived is because the discovery channel was there to slip you a fleece poncho and some beef jerky. and the worst part, the single dumbest thing i've seen on TV from a supposed expert, is the reason he doesnt wear shoes. the very first episode of this pile, they arrive at some mountain wilderness covered with snow and ice. he is fucking barefoot. his explanation?
"most people dont know that if you tie your boots too tight, it cuts off circulation and you get frostbite".
yeah? apparently you DID know that, so why dont you put some boots on and not tie them too fucking tight? even better, you know what most people DO KNOW? that if you walk around in the snow with bare feet, and tell anyone else that its better than having some kind of footwear, you are a fucking retard. what a pioneer you are, devolving from the knowledge that the god damn cavemen had.
fuck TV, especially reality TV, but most of all, fuck these two assholes and the dickwads that put them on the air.
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