An update.

Got drunk, bought a paralyzed kitten for 4$.

One week later, got drunk. Get attacked from behind, finish the fight by coating a new shirt in his his faceblood.

The end.

Something

Well i'm bored as fuck. theres nothing interesting on the internet, roomate is sleeping so i cant do anything noisy. So lets ramble about some shit.

Going Big. I like to think of going big as a term of enlightenment. Bros with popped collars and fake sun tans are hitting the clubs this very minute, thinking they are going big. They order jaegerbombs, but likely have a favorite energy drink included in the shot, like it makes a fucking difference. in between their shots, which they probably call J-Bombs or JB's, they'll slow down with a couple mike's hard lemonades, and maybe even a natty light they'll pretend to chug.

Aside from their faggotry in their inebriation technique, they will ignore the thus far unwritten rule that conquering an area involves rallying the locals around your group, and eventually becoming the epicenter of Going Big for everyone in the vicinity to gravitate to and learn the ways of the Nightowl.
Not the Bros. In between hugging eachother and posing for "prison inmate stare" group photos where they throw fake gang signs at their iPhone camera, The Bros will annoy the living fuck out of each and every bartender, waitress, bouncer and customer in the place. Screeching noises they call laughter coupled with atrocious attempts to freestyle rap into an empty mike's bottle one of them spilled are the acts of the hour. Constantly referring to women as bitches and any man not in the group as fags will ensure that nobody within the area code will intentionally speak with the Bros or party in their remote proximity.

In short, These are the Antimatna. They are not without use however, as their presence allows the Nightowls to leave that much clearer of a mark on any society we touch. The Bros will always be just another group of "those fucking idiots" to the people unfortunate to meet them, which alone brings the Ministry's influence all the higher in the eyes of the soon to be conquered.
For me personally, the Watchhogs, Turkeynecks and SajMaj Express' of the world have fallen by the wayside. The Bros are now the most pathetic of species to me, and seeing them fail time and again to truely Go Big is a priceless bonus to take home.

Mons Venus

Some of you might find this a little strange that I am writing about this and not the Cuban, but I feel as though this place needs to be mentioned. Through the word of mouth I herd of this strip club called Mons Venus and that unlike normal strip clubs this one is very unique. Unique indeed, not only do you get to touch the strippers who are completely naked, fondle them but the lap dances are a respectable $20-$30. There is no Champagne room at this place no booth to secretly hide while you get your dance, no way! this is all done out in the open so everyone can see the show. As the Cuban and I were just watching the madness going on around us someone bought a dance sitting next to us. little did I know but I soon find out why this place is so popular. As I gawk at the un-tattooed, un- pierced, amazingly gorgeous blond doing a hand stand split backwards beside of me. I realized none of these girls had fake breast, all were what looked like to be in there 20s, they all had the proper amount of teeth and seemed to have a very good personal trainer. I wanted a t-shirt from this place but they did not have my size, plus the Cuban said per rules I could not get a t-shirt with out a lap dance. Anyway hopefully I will next time.

T-Shirts.

Got em.

Hockey and Tennis

To everyone whos been telling me it must be great to have the Penguins and Steelers win championships the same year: Fuck You, i hate the steelers, im not from pennsylvania.

Im am happy though, seeing Fez following the team and getting riled up over this too, thats a first for as long as I've been a fan of hockey. I'd love to talk about the penguins winning the cup and all that kind of stuff but, there is some business to attend to.

namely this:

An ad for ticketmaster abusing sacred language of the Nightowls. They didnt even get the damn wording right. Of all the sporting events there are, does tennis really seem like the one to go big at? aside from the occasional stabbing, the people who go to tennis matches are probably there to catch up on their sleep.

Going Big at the US Open would get you ejected. So fuck ticketmaster, this is the highest degree of false advertising.

No, you cant have weed

There are much more important things that need to be legalized first.

1.
I want the right to strangle the fuck out of people who absolutely cannot function without someone feeling sorry for them 24 hours a day.

2.
I want the right to throw a coffee mug at the forehead of anyone who, whether they are even included in a conversation or not, is determined to make any topic that can be spoken verbally about themselves.

3.
Being drunk in public hurts nobody but the taxpayers when the arrest is made. being a buzzkilling narc can potentially lead to large quantities of civil unrest. do the math.

4.
I want the right to open-palm-throat-strike anyone who asks me if im doing alright more than once a month.

This list is completely unsatisfying in its briefness, but the rage boiling over is preventing me from thinking straight enough to write anymore at this time.

Shirts?

Whats going on with these? Fez I know that your busy getting Anally violated in Vegas... I need to flaunt the Gunnamatna colors in Afghan when i get shitty drunk on friday.