An Excuse to drink

So I'm thinking we should have a shing ding at casa del cubano this Sunday!

What do you all think?

( Fez nice air guitar)

New Prospects

We've already agreed that Turtle, Jib, and Animal need to be made into Nightowls. After what i saw last night, and a few other times, I think Ira needs some serious consideration. Captains? Also, Slimer wants to return to his syllabus. he drank last night, but did not go big. and are there any others that should be given a shot?

Fuck the Super Bowl

I finally realized today why this year's Super Bowl is so unappealing to me. first, the uniforms are fucking lame. black vs. white? clinging onto the unoriginality of the 40's in the name of tradition doesn't work in this millenium. your uniforms look like shit. second, the Logos on the helmets. the broncos, seahawks, patriots, and buccaneers all changed their helmet logos once someone in the staff finally realized they looked like fuckin homos. look what happened. 3 of them won Superbowls, or multiple Superbowls immediately after. as for the Seahawks, just getting there was good enough. But jesus, the bears and the colts have the SAME GOD DAMN THING on their helmets. one of them just happens to be sideways and colored orange. how about a rampaging warhorse or a murdering fuckin grizzly? third, colts, good offense, bears, good defense. colts, shitty defense, bears, shitty offense. this game may drag on to upwards of 18 or so hours before someone actually scores. My prediction: The game goes into so many overtimes at 0-0 that all the fans leave in disgust, and Roger Goodell calls the game on the grounds that nobody in the league deserved to be champion this year.

Edit: One more prediction. If Adam Vinetieri kicks the game winning field goal for the Colts, look for Mike Vanderjagt to suicide carbomb his home.

Scip Scappery

Yes, last night the biggest scipscap of all was me. Like a 22 fat retarded toddler i couldn't even stay up during a movie. And with people taking shots around me i stayed sober. I do believe that does call for a reduction in points....What a biggidy bitch.

Comments

The board is fuckin huge now. to combat this, you can now click the comment icon after a post to talk about it without making an entirely new post of your own. you fuckers.

Up to the challange?

Yo Kaiser,

I know you are capable of verbally bashing and berading those retards and telling everyone else to fuck themselves so... Hey if Spoon doesn't live up to standards fail his ass then everyone will understand that you are not the one to fuck with....triflin bitch!

Handing off the pressure...

Hey thanks Vin! now that youre at EP school, Theyve decided to make me an instructor. since wolfy and tubetop are going to probably end up at scan eagle dets, that leaves me to go through what you did last year. two flights a day, teaching retards how to do a fuel burn. thanks alot MFer. My first task is to get spoon current, awesome! the guy who accepts mediocrity quicker than the detroit lions ownership. bring on the suicide prevention acronyms!

HEY FEZ!

I'm fuckin prouda ya! signed off EP before Iraq, impressive. Your right....maybe he had metal in his fuckin head as well and wanted it in the leg to match.
There will be a Vin/Cuban B meet and greet while he is still down here. I give the details later.
Miss you guys...sleezy fucks.....

New Movie Coming Out

Tom Cruise is following up The Last Samurai with a sequel. The official movie poster is posted above.

Tell them Vin

Cuz you get to meet a cool fucking guy(Wilson) then schlong(he's a snake). He's an idiot. But anyways, tell wilson that, fez is the first one qualled EP (by the way just got fully qualed tonight) and Spoon has already done 4 touches in disco. Bong. hahaha, take that baby huey(Mguns) you fuck. Plus, i learned the most important rule. NOT TO FUCKING HIT MYSELF. WHAT A FUCKING MORON. Honestly do you actually have to learn that. I would think most people inherently know. haha. Awesome. Low pros and cons compared to a life time with a steel rod in my leg and ILS. What a douchey loser.
Lvoe fez

awesome 3

my 5 favorite words: triflin, bitch, likkaz, cunt and kill

Come on Parcells

Does anyone really think Bill Parcells is done coaching? i mean come on, that son of a bitch has more comebacks that Rocky Balboa. The only real question is...how big will the Tuna's man-titties be next time? im going to guess he soon ends up as the Oakland coach in a few years, and seeing the women in california, decides he actually needs implants...my god, could you imagine? we're talking jugs that could capsize a battleship for christ's sake. i hope somehow i end up blind before then.

awesome 2

the 5 words i love are: ackahall, fuck, Goddamn, smoke, and Murder

awesome

5 words i love: Strippers, Boobies, Poontang, Pooping and Beer.

Tatanka Reaches 10 Hours

Prospect Tatanka has reached the necessary 10 GOBIG hours to recieve a full comission. All that remains for him is the 600. We will no doubt administer the test soon, at the very latest, sometime before the upcoming Deployment. Be Ready.

What does your phone do?

Well going straight into the rant, I hate goddamn cellphones. I believe these satanic devices of communications are Lucifers homing beacons. The fact that you can ask "What does your phone do?" Is just ridickyness.
I mean seriously, why do we need phone, camera, computers at all times. Do we need entertainment at all moments in time. Is that why most people nowadays are drab and subpar conversationalists. Since when did talking all the time a phone make you supposedly cool, i always thought it meant you were the inconsiderate prick that thought your 2 minutes of conversations to whoever was the most important thing at the time. Fuck you, you ignorantly brash dregs of society that aren't even worth the time of my urinating on. I believe me i still would you fucks.
The best are the slaves to texting...These mindless monkeys that have to stare at the screen as soon as they're cryptic evil writings vibrate against the hip. Then tell me look what whoever wrote... Good for them you fucking ninny. Don't show me shit cuz i could care less.
And the ringtone phenomenom, fuck it. If i wanted to hear talentless rappers all the time i would by the 50 cent album. Or just turn on mtv or whatever garbage that kids think is music nowadays. Fuck todays youth, bunch of whiny spoiled talentless bitches.
Why don't they give a phone that has a useful second purpose, like a bottle opener on one end and a telescoping pocket pussy on the other. Yeah, now that sounds like something You can appreciate....and for the ladies.....come on...you can use anything. I don't have to tell you this, you fucking know it.
Now lastly when you find yourself in hell getting skewered rectally and orally by hitler and Ghengis kahn and your phone rings and you look. Take a moment and reflect on why your ass belongs there. Skunt.

Lvoe fez

From the Captain

In response to an earlier hate mail letter....FUCK MURRELL'S INLET AND THE ENTIRE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA!

SINCERELY

YANKEE VIN!

P.S.
BITCHES

The Playoffs

What the fuck is going on this year? I refuse to pick anymore obvious winners because they just can't fuckin do it. Fuck every team left in the playoffs and I hope your fuckin planes crash on your way to whatever overpriced rip off stadium your playin in. NFL= negligent fuckhead losers.

It's been a while.

Well i was going to say i was sorry to see you leave Vin. But after i felt all day yesterday it will be a vacation. God i hate puking.
Anyways, abuse time. Time to attack the faggy whiners singing today. One more way society has found to queer up the boys. You know what we did to guys that wore makeup in high school, we beat the shit out of them. But it is the american way, destroy the shit out of what you don't understand. We didn't give them special names like emo or goth. There was a catchall for that. They were called freaks. And we loved playing beat the freak. Now every new band i see has to have black hair and black lipstick, like that hides the fact that i will still put your head in the toilet and watch your mascara. Stop the faggitting of america. For your childrens sake.

lvoe fez

CABO WABO!

VIN HAS OBTAINED CABO WABO! BEWARE!!!!!!

NightOwls on the Hunt!!!

Sup Sup! Hey you renegades! Le House is ready for the crazyness!! Cuban-B and Jolly Red shall be waiting!!

GO BIG or GO HOME!

sup

Okay everyone it's on for tomorrow night! So fellow drunken owls be ready...I know Vin/ uh I suggested my house, but if someone has another idea (bar.club,etc..) let us know, if not the plan is to get totally hammered at my crib, then if anything walk or taxi to fastfreddy's (or another bar)
let me know every one's thoughts!

CRANK!!!

For those of you who have seen this movie, then no explanation is needed. But for those who haven’t, RENT IT, DOWNLOAD IT, BUY IT, I don’t give a damn, but it is a must see. For those of you who love fucked up movies like Blow, Fight Club, Boondock Saints, Snatch, or Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, this one puts them all to shame (well maybe not, but its up there with them). By far Jason Statham’s best performance, as he plays a drugged up assassin who can only stay alive if he keeps his adrenaline pumping. I won’t get into details, but I’m sure you won’t be disappointed, but if you are, fuck off, I liked it.

Seattle?!

Kaiser was clearly disturbed watching tonight's American Idol as Seattle produced the largest amount of FREAKS ever assembled. Scip scapery runs rampant in this town and it needs to be targeted.

Today's Word

First, Cubano GO BIG FRIDAY is a go. Let's get your punk ass over 100 hours and we will have MO's promotion to Senior Nightowl as well. Your house was a great idea i'm glad you suggested it. any questions?...... Second, this will most likely be my last weekend to GO BIG with my fellow Captains and Senior owls for quite a while so I wanna fuck shit up! I will be waging war in the Pensacola/Panama City/New Orleans region continiung our plan to conquer and destroy all scip-scap hideouts and those who harbor them. More to come.......

Fez & Kaiser

Wud Up Folks!

Hey Vin I agree about giving MO the fast track to Captaincy!

Damn it! I need to get over 100pts! Vin and fellow Captains, I propose a true Going Big nite with repeated Code Reds this Friday!

Who's with me???

**BTW HERE'S A LOOK IN THE PAST WHEN FEZ AND KAISER FIRST MET AND WITH THEIR POWERS BEGAN TO CONQUER THE WORLD!!!

AND YES, FEZ IS THE ONE WITH THE SHIT STAIN....

Hours Milestones

During the latest conquest, some milestones were reached regarding GOBIG stats, most importantly, hours. Vin, Fez and myself have crossed over the 200 hour barrier. Spoon is over 100 now, and Cuban B and Taz can make it with one good night of Going Big. Also, I'll take the time to explain the new points system. for each stat, be it public urination, slaps, or raids, each point is added to your total, stats that record a certain drink, bowling average, or audio are exempt. The point total is displayed at the bottom of the master stat sheet, which i will try to post on here later. points may be deducted for certain penalties, such as party fouls, or scip-scappery. The points will be subtracted from the total only, and the categorical stats will not be affected.

classes and more classes

I agree 100% about MO, however that basterd needs to do some posts!
Hey Vin, you did not rush to judgement, it's just YOU. We all accept that you can be at times, maybe a wee bit of the overbearing side..I know call me crazy but it's true
And yes, either all NCO's or ppl that aren't fucking tards!
Call INS I ain't scared!!!
Go make me a SANDWICH!

Recommendation

OK, Fez and drunkenrambling.... You are absolutely correct we were too quick in passing judgement and i apoligize to offending nightowls and my recommendation is that we keep the ministry open to NCO's only...thoughts?

Senior Nightowl Selection Board Nom's

Captains! I'm officially selecting MO for Senior Nightowl Status and recommend us seriously evaluating his captaincy stats because they were damn near achieved during this past weekends campaign. All those opposed can kiss my ass. Hey Cubano, I called INS so watch out....JK.

Campaign Medal Recipients

from left to right.

VIN, MO, FEZ, KAISER

Recipients of the MRYTLE BEACH CAMPAIGN MEDAL.

Pic on right: Drunken Nightowls take the polar bear plunge into the frigid Atlantic Ocean.

slipslappindabiggidyhappening

"If you are out to describe the truth, leave the elegance to the tailor." If you know who said that quote, than you know one of my favorite quotes of all time. It was one of the few my mother with her illiterate ass knew. The truth of things right now, is we got to get to the down and dirty in the ministry. I think we were a bit to quick to react to kicking people out of the ministry. Yes they fucked up, but i am goddamn retarded. How am i to comment on someone elses actions when it was a stat. I think we should take a retrospective look(and take a little responsibilty) at our ourselves and think about what the ministry truly is. The ministry is about bringing professionalism to alcoholism. Yes any jack ass with a beer can get drunk. Yes, we been showing people the power we contain by our ability of beer chuggin, but guess what, they are kids. I don't even care if they are older than me, they are kids to me. It is a maturity level we are trying to teach, that overindulgence has consequences. It is something we know(kaiser! Vin! Cuban and myself!) and we look out for each other, by making each other have designated drivers. Even my fat fucking drunk degenerate ass had been a designated driver and actually advertise it on big weekends so people will rely on me. I guess the simple little things have gone unlooked, and people are only seeing the situation and not the plainly obviousness of brotherhood that originally started this. It wasn't a competion but fun times. And trying to keep everyone involved. That's the reason for the stats. Scips Scaps were other sections. We need to be together in this. Now that is enough for philosophizing for a drunk.
You can prolly tell from the rambling and the fact that it may not make anysense, i dunno yet. I wil have to read this tomorrow. So enough seriousness.
Abuse time bitches, since it was the season premiere of my favorite program and i made swope get me a 12 p which is already gone. I will have to say is that fucking slobs are living in a state of denial. I haven't seen so many fat bitches try to be famous since the View, Roseanne and basically anything with monique and queen latifah. I mean come on, if you chew cud than you are a humoungous cow slut. I mean i ain't saying that a drunk fez won't, but we know a sober fez can regret....ahem. anyways. Since when has it been ok for guys to cry. (exceptions being watching brian song, PLAYING on a team that loses a championship and getting married and dropping your balls in her purse) not losing in american idol. John Wayne and my father are turning over in their grave. Other than that suck it the fuck up. I didn't know it became cool to be such a bitch, but i guess i will be uncool till it becomes cool to be a fucking man again. And fuck prince.....fagass faggity homosexual fuck.

lvoe fez

Random Word

Vin, Kaiser and Fez participated in the viewing of American Idol. Why? cause we fuckin wanted to. Congrats to Minneapolis for producing the biggest bunch of worthless morons ever assembled. Come on! We get lots of joy watching these fools on national television making COMPLETE asses out themselves but are you for real? Someone is filling these dipshits head's with all sorts of fantasies of actually amounting to a fuck. "Ok i'm laughing as i post this...but we've got to put an end to this shit. This is why America is FAT because we think its ok. where did that come from? the same place we try and hide everything else..under the fuckin RUG. eat my ass and suck on my balls you spineless fucks. I'll say the shit you bitches don't wanna say because your sweet and you don't wanna kill. fuck the midwest and everyone from there.

Oh my Chrometta

This past weekend, I purchased a Hohner Chrometta. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a very high end Harmonica. And for those of you who haven't heard the Nightowls albums, I have recently started playing harmonica on them, instead of my guitar, which was horrifically destroyed before OIF IV. I must tell you, this Chrometta is a symphony in and of itself, the tantalizing ear chocolate that pours like a waterfall of joy is unmatched in anything i have heard. with double the notes and a slide-switch to dictate the sound control, the Chrometta's pleasure can be rivaled only by the most explosive orgasm one could experience while engaging in a fantastic sexual cornicopia of equal parts fantasy and desire. When you play the Chrometta, It is as if your most primal and basic instincts have suddenly been detonated like a 500 kiloton nuclear weapon full of pure ecstasy and heaven. The knowledge that you own the Chrometta can only be compared to the moment you pass on, and see Jesus standing before you, telling you that you've been accepted into his holy kingdom. If you have never expirienced such a musical Tsunami, I pity you, and see you as a 75% less enlightened than myself.

The aTTack of the Flying kilLiNg Snails!!!

Yeah I have no idea what that subject line means, but fuck it.
And by the way...FUCK YOU VIN!!!
Okay here it is.......

THIS WEEKS MINISTRY OF NIGHTOWLS SAFETY MESSAGE
PRESENTED BY YOUR SAFETY OFFICER
el cuban-B
"If your trapped on a sinking ship, remember always to look left"

On another note, I forgot to mention thanks for all the drunken dialing voice mails you bastards left me this weekend they were exceptional! Mo wtf that piece of shit #7 guy who was a total wuss is now leaving to go to the NFL?? Talk about loyal..
Which bring me to he next subject.....LOYALTY
Does it still exist these days???

*by the way Vin I just playin...the cubano woves you :)

Randomness that needs to be brought to light

Well since everyone is in bad mood, i might as well not rant again. But i was wondering, pondering, contemplating, ruminating and occasionally thinking. Because i am a nerd at heart, and would like to see the fights that will never happen, like a Charlie Brown vs predator in a chainsaw deathmatch, Ninja turtles against the fat skunts from the view, The King and Ronald Mcdonald in a creep out contest (you can't tell me that ronald isn't a child molester). A looney toon Battle royal including land mines and flamethrowers. Don't ask me why this was the first things that pop into my head. Maybe it's because i am unbalanced fat mexican with a skosh of down syndrome and a pinch of controlled tourette's syndrome.
Well what shall i do since there is no abuse?!?!@? Well people who talk erratic and nonsensical things in my head. I will tell you. I will give a few shout outz. Holla. First shout out Andrew Whittakeer, after winning world's largest undivided lottery, is now broke has lawsuits everywhere. Thank you for showing us that people from west virginia don't need money to be happy, just a sister and the know how for a good time. And one the Prez, who celebrated Martin Luther King's Birthday by helping paint a High School. Different from his usual responsibilities of fingerpainting and having Condy Rice hang it on the fridge. Lastly of course got to give a shout out to NFL for this years halftime show pick. Prince? Fucking honestly......What the hell do you say to that? I guess Black sweat makes a little sense...Oh come on, act like it is racist. They are just damn athletic people. Do the people who pick these even listen to music. well that's all i got.

Lvoe fez

WHAT?!

As the leader of this organization, I must speak on what transpired this past weekend. NO WHERE in the by-laws of the ministry does it say to completely throw out common sense and conduct ourselves as an idiotic baffoon. End of story, bottom line you get or let someone get a DUI (driving under idiocracy) you're through with representing the Nightowls organization. GOODBYE JACKASSES. fuck off!

ABout TimE!!

Wow! It F'ing worked!

First of all, Congrats guy on your Victory at Myrtle Beach (wish I could have been there!)

Secondly, I totally feel your pain on the upcoming lectures and games that will be occurring in S-3 in the upcoming week. > Fucking dumbass bastards, Kaiser I agree 100%

Well as for me this weekend was not at the level of my fellow brothers, however I did kill a bottle of Yager at Butrum's house Saturday night, the worst part was I wasn't even buzzed! Time to find a new drink...

And finally, I would like to send a shout out to all the little shitheads that ride around in thier roller/shoes and piss off Fez!

Time to Wake up.

If any member if the Nightowls is caught drinking and driving again, not only are you a fucking idiot, but so is everyone who let you. we will be discussing the penalty for this, possibly banishment.

blahg

Myrtle Beach was not ready for the nightowls. It started off like any other trip, stop at the gas station for gas and mad dogs. It quickly became one of the most ridicky times. I will just throw out a few things, old lady gummer, pigs hammin it, Dick at Dicks, ketchup slap, pickle slap, tomatoe slap, kryptonite bounce, hip hop robot, puking at the beach, geriatric photo shoot, It's just a Myth, tiger pounce, WPS, torres is gay anywhere and that sums it up for what i can remember. If you don't know what it means you prolly don't need to.

Abuse time, this time i am attacking everyone in any fucking mall. First off i hate the mall, I hate mall smells, i hate seeing people happy in the mall, because i know it's satan's work. From the soulless gypsies at the islands to the goths who hate captilism but shop at hot topic. I hate all these subhuman creatures. Not to mention the fucking kids that run around like imps with the parents to busy trying to calm them down by getting the spoiled little hetheans more shit. Calm the little goblins down, or else i will run through the store like the fucking juggernaut hitting everyone of those little bastards... and old people god bless your hearts but i want to push you down and see your bones shatter like a jenga stack falling. You archaic fucks, you don't have to look at every little thing, and why does it always take you so long to pay, take some fuck ginko and remember when it is your turn. And why are there so many massage spots, is it so hard to go around spending money that you need some grubby foreigner who gets paid peanuts to touch you. For christ sakes, it's to much. Lastly, if i have to see another kid wheeling around on his fucking shoes, he's ain't going to make it, cuz i am pushing the little bastard down and watching his head crack like humpty fucking dumpty. Fuck the mall.

lvoe fez

Nightowls Take The Beach

Myrtle Beach has fallen. The war on Scip-Scaps has taken another step toward total victory. All involved, Vin, Fez, Kaiser, and Mo will be receiving the Myrtle Beach Campaign Medal, for valorous detriment to health, reputation, and financial security. I would write more in depth about what happened, but I honestly cant remember enough right now.

Short Term Future

Big things happening this weekend. first of all, the NIGHTOPS will be updated to include a new section "The No-Name Policy", "Freeze Stats', and also to further explain each and every method of aquiring hours, points, and the difference between them. I've been hearing a lot of misnomers about what NIGHTOPS means. I swear to God, if i hear someone say "Nightops Function" again, i will slash their fucking tires. Do you say we're going to the NATOPS brief? Or we had a 4 hour NATOPS flight? The NIGHTOPS is not to be confused with the terms contained within it. it is merely a standardization document, not a verb. Also, the Board Members are currently in the war room, planning our next conquest. It could happen as early as this weekend, as a target has been selected for us to destroy. more on that later.

-Kaiser

sumting

Don't really know what to write about, but i figure it is time to post somemore mundane idiocracy. Can't all be political genuises. Thanks alot kaiser for making me look like nutslapping fuckstick. No no, it's cool, Ted Koppel. Go ahead and tell me what's going on in the world today cuz i am listening. I just can't comprehend cuz i am the drunk dumb fat kid.
Now, i could prolly go on a with my usual dishing out of my abuse. And don't worry i will. But i will congratulate Mo on sacking up and finally writing something. That's right skunt. Bout fucking time.
And with out anymore delay, abuse time, I'm a little sick and tired of caring. Care about the environment, the poor, the sick, the whatever else the morose muthafucks suffer from. That's right i said, i couldn't care less. I don't give a shit. When people tell me to give a shit, i get constipated, then all i want to do is shit in my hand like a rabid zoo monkey and throw it at some fucking hippie so it will finally give that grubby fuck an excuse to take a shower. And for fuck sakes, buy some fucking shoes. Goddamn i hate hippies. But sorry, i am getting off track. All these charities that ask for donations. What has happened to all the money, if it takes 15 dollars to feed some poor fucking kid, why not spend that money, not on fucking rations but helping that country out. By neutering the fucks. I am sure we can get some dirty vets who have a coke habit, give 10 grand and there goes 90 percent of aids, world hunger and all that other bullshit. I am sorry to say but when it comes to 2.95 for a mad dog or helping out, you will see me going big from getting tanked. And act like i am a bad person. But believe it or not, i donate. Now let me ask you a question, do you? So go all high and mighty and slap the bible around. Blah blah, neighbor, blah blah, commandments. Even jesus was a stingy fuck.....whoa whoa whoa....slow down fez. Maybe stingy fuck is extreme. I even have to draw the line there. But he did know when not to hurt more by giving. He said teach a man to fish not fucking help him become a dependent fuck. So all i am trying to say is i love to drink and i see no reason not to. And i love double fucking negatives. So fuck you.

lvoe
fez

Spell Check

Well, i didn't proof read my shit before i posted so i look like i have a 2nd grade education...I KNOW ALREADY! So don't say shit to me about it. Fez, shutup!

Captain's Word

Couple of things to cover....First the DVD NIGHTOWLS: FROM THEN..TO NOW is complete and i have the master copy. If you want a copy I will let you view it first to make sure you like it. If you like it then you will be permitted to take you triflin asses to the store and buy a damn DVR so I can burn it for you, I am not made of money and hope you didn't honestly think i was gonna supply all the fuckin blank DVR's. That would make you a fuckin idiot. JUST KIDDING! I will supply the shit so stop cryin you bunch of bitches! I will let you view first so if you don't want one i don't waste my time or money. Oh, and you will be immediately removed from the ministry if you refuse....... Second, Cuban B I let the Administrators know of your login issues so stop whining before we deport you! Third, I am looking forward to stopping FEZ from regaining the lead thi weekend. Blow me.. Have a good night.

The Psycho: VIN

Political Suicide, or Evil Genius?

Last month Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki had a visit with Geroge Bush. To protest this, the man who was the deal breaker in terms of Maliki's appointment as PM, withdrew his party's representitives from the Iraqi congress. Eventually Sadr gave in, knowing that Maliki has the backin of US troops and the entire Iraqi forces. But thats just the beginning. In conjunction with the troop increase, Maliki may now decide to go after Sadr and the Mahdi army controlling baghdad. If this happens, two scenarios come to crystal clear light. One, Maliki follows through and is successful in clearing the Mahdi army and Sadr from controlling Bagdad and influencing the govornment throught aggressive posturing. If this happens, Maliki could be seen as a hero in the turning point of the war, as a major levy is removed from the govornment's functions. If Maliki is assassinated, or the Mahdi army retaliates in force, fuck him. he's now a legendary martyr and the US finally has a legitimate reason to Nail Al Sadr. Sunni's would be relieved at the radical Shia's removal, Shia would be separated from the man whipping them into bloodlust. Senator John McCain, in endorsing this, takes a huge risk to his future campaign. If the plan works, McCain could have the centerpiece of a winning campaign If Iraq rejects the motion and falls furth into sectarian violence, McCain is a deadman come next November. but with the popularity of republicans at the moment, it may be his only real chance anyway.

Misprint!

Hold on for the DVD..Last minute addition. Look for new distro date soon. bitches....

Suckeyes

This one goes out to the Ohio State Suckeyes. Yes, that's right I said it, SUCKEYES!!! All season long you made everyone believe that you were a dominating team, but after monday nights performance, everyone now knows that you are a bunch of egotistical, whiny, heartless bitches. Troy Smith, all you are is a self-centered trick-ass bitch, and another Archie Griffin, who will never be anything in the NFL. As for Ted Ginn, the biggest triflin bitch of the night. You go whining off the field like a bitch because of a twisted ankle. In a game where you should have sucked it the fuck up and kept playing, you sit out, so that maybe you will be able to go into the draft early. I could go on and on about the fuck-ups the coaching staff made, but I'm not even going to give them the gratitude. Next time, if you even deserve a next time, make sure you have your balls with you when you get on the plane.

Wud Up!!

Hey VIN I got the pics! Try to come by tonight or I can bring them tomorrow.


Hey Fez, I just drank two full cups of water!

I WENT BIG!!!!

Lunch time rant

It's time to throw out some abuse!!! I am a little tired of skunt ass scip scappery taking over the ministry. It seems to me that any susan or sally can drink a mad dog and call it going big. Or make an ass out of himself and think woopie and wee. I have gone big. No my friends. True masters of the go big art, know that puking isn't going big, puking on somebody or out of a moving vehicle going 60 and the only thing keeping you inside and your face from pummeling the pavement and popping like a silicone titty is the seatbelt that some magic person put on. Peeing outside, is not a public urination, peeing on a window of a crowded restraunt is blatant public urination. As a man who at one timed owned the hours in going big...and will reclaim my throne. I am tired of hearing these petty claims of, oh i went big everynight on leave. Cuz if you did.....you would die. And if anyone says to me they went big, and i asked what they did, and they reply back....."i got really drunk" I am going to slap that person like the bitch they are cuz they have learned nothing.
And now rant on about randomness... fuck the ohio state game. It's over, they got spanked cuz they are no heart fucks just like munger and dropped the log. It's this kind of bullshit that pisses me off about sports. Everyone is a fucking superstar, even though you never hear of these fucks till they make an ass out of themselves. But guess where these fucks are going to be in 15 yrs, broke ready to stroke off anyone for 10 bucks by an overpass. What's even worse is the fans, stroking there own dicks because they got someone..They, what part of they are you. Oh they really care if you carress your self while your favorite teams win the big game. And your happy for a bit you pathetic beer chugging man luvin and tugging homosexual. But get over it. And one more time for the record.FUCK OHIO!!

I'm Not Done....

It may "seem" like all I do is get on here and curse everyone out....because that is exactly what I do. If you don't like it go FUCK yourselves...It is my job and I enjoy it.

On to better things...The presentation NIGHTOWLS: From Then...To Now is complete and ready for distro. Give me a fuckin minute and I will make sure all of you bitches get a copy..get of my balls. Have a good night.

-VIN

Captain's Word

We have deception and treachery in our ranks NIGHTOWLS. I am pissed! Kaiser, Fez, Cuban B we MUST start a more strict screening process because we have triflin bitches wearing our beloved jersey and misrepresenting the ministry. We must take care of each other and get rid of these fuckin parasites. I seriously wanna choke the SHIT out of a certain someone. Fez you can relate. As of right fuckin now NIGHTOWL prospectery is closed until further notice AND we need to clean out the fuckin house!

Overbearing Short Fused Pissed Off with little kids who think their age number makes them a fuckin adult
-Captain Vin

P.S. GO FUCK YOURSELVES

Monarkos & Bwaaw #3

Episode #3 is here, my bitches. it took awhile, but i may have actually learned enough to know how to complete a panel in less than an hour. if not, I may cut my wrists while making the next one. If you haven't learned yet, click the picture for the big boy view.

And here we go

Ladies and Gentleman, i present to you, Dueling Banjos. For no god damn reason.

And on the 7th day he rested

Well folks, sorry to dissapoint, but i could not make it 7 days, i got to 6 days, well actually 5 and a half(half day i could only manage a 6 pack...what a biggity bitch). But enough of that.
Time for the Daily dose of abuse, i would like to talk about kid's cartoons. Why the fuck are they so gay nowadays, we had real cartoons, racist, sexist, blatantly disrespectful cartoons that showed you picking on the nerds was alright. I am talking about the goddamn looney toons. Those fucking rocked. What do kids have now? Spongebob fagpants, dora the whorexplorer. Go back to your country you fuckin beaner, that's right, i said it, she is an illegal, but let your kids watch it cuz everyone wants tolerance, well fuck that and fuck you. I want my kids watching a dirty ass french skunk trying to rape a cat. That teaches you values. Or how about a rooster that takes care of the hen's chick cuz he wants henpussy. Fuck yes. Morals baby. morals.

The Return of your Weekly Safety Message!

Hello my fellow Basterdos!

That's right, it's Cuban-B back from Cuba!

Today's important Safety Message is the following:

"If you are attacked by a Bear,remember to always look to the left."

This has been an important message from your Safety Officer

-Cuban-B

**On another note, Jolly-Red went big in Florida. OPS-O please update her public urination points. (please refer to voice mails left on CO's and Fezz's phones)

Captain's Word. Hours Leader and Awards for the week.

1.VIN
2.FEZ
3.KAISER

Ok slackerz....We don't wanna here you whining about why you were not in the top 3 soon to be top 5 update. If you GO BIG (which is not just drinking. see glossary) report your hours to Kaiser or they won't get posted! you need some type of verification to prevent triflin bitches from makin shit up! Fez has vowed to retake his throne..we'll see.

Greatest Gainer: TAZ
Sneak Attack Performance: MO
Biggest Slacker: GERBER

Dammit we flew!

It was a nail biter but dammit my Eagles pull the sticks out of their asses and sent the Giants packing(AGAIN). By the way to commerate this I pulled out the old "Goldschlager"(see glossary). Good thing we won although I still managed to damage a chair in the opening moments of the game. NOW, on to the upcoming week and our trip to New Orleans. We cannot FUCK around like we did tonight in the Superdome. Muthafuckas you better bring your FUCKIN A GAME or we are done! DON'T FUCK ME.. I just ordered a decal to grace the G. bitches.....

Nightowls Abroad

hey fucko's, last night was the fifth night of drinking in my week long goal to destroy the liver and finally hit go big status, sorry i couldn't post drunk. But here's the recap, spent 60 bucks in parking, 6 beers and a hotdog at the canes game. Had loud ass rick flair yelling at me. Then decided to go out to some bars, ended up with a petroli girl(hippie bitch) thought everything was going good but unfortunetly i blacked out while making out with her. After a brief time traveling i was lost in Raleigh and talking to a black bum named Elvis. Don't know what happened with petroli chick, guessing i ruined it with some redickyness. I gave the bum 20 dollars to show me the way back to the hotel, then had him go buy me a hotdog. Woke up this morning not knowing where the fuck i was. It was a good night. Now i am 2 beers into night 6. Hoping to hit go big status. I need to regain my lead in the hours.
And time for some more abuse, fuck the man laws commercials saying no fruiting the beer. I'll be goddamned if i let the little goblin negro eddie griffin tell me how to drink beer. And burt reynolds, fuck him, i haven't see him go big like nightowls. What pisses me off, is the querulous faggity fucks that open beer then forget about it and then open another. if you can't finish a beer, check between your crotch and make sure there is actually a toolkit there sally, and if there is learn how to use them you ballslobbin sacks of hipposhits, and quit using it to beat off to barney you sick fucks.

lvoe fez

Fly Eagles..Fly

I'll leave it up to Kaiser to give you the rundown on today's games but if the EAGLES don't massacre the GIANTS we are going to have a little problem. GARCIA, I hope you haven't been watching PEYTON or ROMO because you don't need that negativity in your zone. WESTBROOK run dammit run! DAWKINS, knock a bitch out! Get the beer ready cause here we go Round 1.

--------------------------------------Kaiser Add On

This may be the day we finally get rid of Chad Pennington forever. In other words, the Jets are boned.

Peyton tries his damndest

Well it looks like Trent Green beat Peyton Manning at his own game. that is to say, he fucked up worse in the playoffs. look, the Chiefs shouldnt have been there anyway, but come on. Jon Kitna couldve played better than that. how embarassing. and as for the cowboys? what the hell was that? im glad the Seahawks won but holy crap. i havent seen choking like that since Cracow 1944.

Captain's Word

Coming soon.... Nightowl DVD documenting this years conquests including IRAQ. Sign up now to get your free copies as this offer will not last long.

Promotion

Spoon has been promoted to Senior Nightowl.

Glossary update

Pig's ham, Florabecity, Mako's, Cobble Wobble, and Single Riders

Today's Games

We all know the Colts are going to collapse in the playoffs at some point. will it be today? I doubt it...but it is possible that Peyton Manning will take choking to a new level this year against the Chiefs. In the playoffs, the pressure starts at the beginning of each game, and we all know how Peyton "Tweak" Manning handles pressure. As for the Seacocks and Cowgirls, who really cares. I'm a seahawks fan, but these two are fighting for the chance to launch either the bears or saints into the NFC championship and nothing more.

Captain's Word

It's been awhile so it's time...... Get it the fuck together. I have never met a bigger bunch of irresponsible, whiny ass, can't make a descision on my own NTAC's. You are what drives my drinking habit you selfesh SONS of bitches. I know plenty of people who actually have REAL problems so shut the fuck up! The next person that comes...no fuck that...I hear whining about something that would fall into the category of "bullshit" I'm ending your life.

Overbearing Sick of Whiny Bitches Captain
-Vin

Suprise Suprise

Today, after living like we were in an aids infested third world country filled with other diseases wild animals and an epidemic, they suprise us with the fact that we are in a condemed barracks. Well i haven't been so suprised since they declared libercace gay.... I mean come on, Condemened. Are we Stopping there, this is the devil play pen, It is hot in the summer, and suprise suprise, unbearably hot in the winter. Fuck me like tyson and bite me in the ear, i am tempted to get a refridgerator box and live in there.
But besides that, it is day 4, after killing beers like the DC sniper, i think i am ready for some bowling, by the actuall correct drinking, i think i am only at 9, but i have been wrong before, and i am not going to count cans, i will count how many times i piss myself like a toddler by the end of the night. Act like you never have, and if you haven't, then you have never gone big and you are a scip scap. Let's just hope i vomit on myself.
Anyways, let's get your daily dose of abuse, you self rightous, i would criticize jesus and how shitty his sandals are fucks. That's right i went relgious, cuz fuck you, i don't give a fuck you anal retentive fucks. I haven't seen so much self gratification since Martha Stewart showed us how to make a homemade prison dildo. Quit suckin your own dicks for an idea, because guess what, 200 years from now who gives a shit. Fuck you. And fuck Oprah. Skunt.

Lvoe fez

Monarkos & Bwaaw #2

Time for #2 bitches. Just let it be known that these things arent easy to produce, so count yourselves god damn lucky I'm going to keep making them.

heyo, heylo... hey hos

Good evening, Day 3 has come upon us. Just hit the big 9. Halfway through an 18 with plenty more to go. I want to talk about something close to my heart. The thumbs up. I don't believe it garners as much respect it did in it's hey day in the 80's. Well i am bringing it back, with such moves as the no look thumbs up and the machine gun thumbs. That's right bitches, i am bringing cheezy back. There's nothing you can do about it.
But for now i leave with a joke.
What's gayer than playing what's in my mouth at a richard simmons sleep over with his best friends the village people?
Maj Scott

laterz

Monarkos & Bwaaw #1

New segment on Gunnamatna bitches. Monarkos & Bwaaw will be a semi-daily feature here. "but Kaaaiiserrrr, why not update it every daaaayy." quit your fucking whining. I'm a busy man, so you'll have to wait until i get time to make them. anyway, click on that image to see the big boy view. bitch.

DD'ing

Let's talk about DD'ing. It is single handedly the most difficult task of the ministry and I will never do it again! It involves drinking MINIMAL amounts of alcohol, dealing with obnoxious drama drag queening drunks that can't conduct themselves as adults and then driving them home without giving in to the temptation of driving full speed into a tree and killing them all. I now see what the rest of the world sees in the Nightowl ministry and well, all I have to say is FUCK THE WORLD and what they think but I'm not doing that shit again unless it is on MY terms..you know what I mean......shitbags

The Overbearing Short Fused Captain
-VIN

Continuos drunken anomosities

I can not spell worth an arabian fuck, so enjoy the title you self rightous educated fucks. Then act like your better than me for getting the proper education you dick licking ass raping sodomists. That's right piggees. Enjoy the rotteness of your lifes. Anywho. continuing on drunk night # 2, see earlier blogs. You cockraping animalistick self masachists fucks. i love you.
Once again this was a fez ramble...don't hate.....don't hate.
fez

What did I say?

A $151 beer bill at Hooters, bitches, what else needs to be said? we got fucked up, and the waitresses could definetly not keep up with us. we had 10 people, including 1 prospect and a possible future prospect. 2 DD's, with one taking 5 beers of the tab. God Damn, we delivered again. Gunnamatna.

Dollar Beer Night Part 2

Ladies and Gentleman, its time for the 2nd running of the Hooters Marathon. Last time we ran up an $82 tab on dollar beer night - with 5 people. Not sure how many are going tonight, but rest assured, it will be crazy. hopefully we can contain ourselves long enough to not get cut off before we break the record, but I cant promise anything. -Kaiser

Randomosities

Hello all,
This is the great and dirty fezarelli. I would have you know that there is an epidemic of scip scappery. You may have seen such cases at home, barracks, supermarket, diner or sto. Scip scaps run amuk in our day in age. not drinking and causing all kinds of civil order. But i tell thee, i will not stand for it, and for proof, i promise to get tanked every night this week. Mark my word. Tanked.

Fez, on the second happenstance of ridiculous, 2007

Playoffs

Here it is, bitches, its time for the playoffs.
I have to hope the Seahawks win it all, but if they go down, I'm an Eagles fan. why? because the Nightowls will be in Philly for Super Bowl weekend. and if they win? God Damn imagine the party. The Chargers, Ravens, Bears and Patriots are all legitimate contenders as well. and the Cowboys, Chiefs, Giants and Colts? Fuck them.

New Years 07 Drunkfest..

Thanks to Kaiser, Mo, Taz and Kronic for making this the most memorable New Years on record in the history of the Nightowl Ministry. I dare anyone to try and top it...bitches. Oh, and WAM SQUAM!

-Vin

Orlando Drink Prices

Hey Orlando! You are not nor will you ever be NYC so stop trying. Where the fuck do you get off charging 8-10 bucks for a fuckin mixed drink. You could the money your ripping off people like me, Kaiser, Mo, Taz and Kronic and buy the 88% obese muthafuckas treadmills. The fuckin balls....

ATTENTION ON DECK MUTHAFUCKAS! VIN HAS ARRIVED.

WAM SQUAM.....

Florabecity

Why is this happening? Orlando, you have a weight problem. seriously, your city is in what i can only decribe as the physical great depression. stop eating so much wam squam and walk around town instead of riding those damn motorcarts. and for fucks sake, fanny packs are dead.

Welcome to the Nightowls...bitches.