Friday, February 27, 2009

For Booty Calls that have no excuse typing on the MATNA


That's right, you have to earn a spot to type on here. Check back into your proper place.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hall of fame week

In order to help Fez move he came up to my house to pick me up so we can move his shit to AZ. He comes up on the 2nd and mayhem ensued. First two nights where kinda slow just went to some local bars and took it kinda easy. The night before we were sup to leave it was a great moment in drunken nightowls history. Fez didn’t go big he went huge. The Day started out with lady problems with both me and fez’s bitches. I get a call at 9am from Fez asking what beer I would like to consume and if I want a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin donouts. By noon the monster had consumed a 12 pack and half a bottle of baileys and yes… Lazo would be jealous. By 5pm he had made numerous drunken phone calls and made a complete ass of himself that the night had just begun. We decide to go to a local bar where I know most of the people that go there with blaze me and the animal. Blazes Ex shows up a little later. We get there and fez buys everyone chili fries and beers. Winks and tells all the waiters and waitress they are cute and makes names up for them and actually gets one of the names right. I decide it was time to go after an hr because I want to be able to return to consume beer at this place again. On the way out he frisks blazes girl…when I say frisk I mean grab and grope. I bring him home and watch as he starts to fall asleep so blaze and I roll back out to the bar. This time we are drinking at chilis. We aren’t there for a few minutes when I get a phone call from my brother telling me he is trying to leave. I tell him to take the keys from him. When I get back to my house Fez is in tears crying for his keys and asking my brother to drive him to AZ for 500 dollars…. And 1000 if he doesn’t. After this he keeps bugging me and my brother for his keys so I get tired and tell my brother to give them to him and let him kill himself. Well he called my bluff and now I had to stop him from leaving. By dodging an upper cut from Ryu I throw him to the floor and get on top him and start strangling him as he is telling me I’m so tough because I can beat him up. Tears start again… More drunken phone calls to a chick to tell her he is pissed at her and tells her he loves her instead. Then we smoke cigars and calm him down to go to sleep. There is more to mention but I don’t have the time or inclination to deal with it. Just know it is in the top 3 drunken madness moments I have ever been privileged to be apart of.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Blaze the Monster

Date: Feb 15 2009,
Place: Otts, Untapped and Mongo's house

I show up to a drunk blaze at Otts, but i was sober, so i figured a couple shots won't hurt, 4 mind erasers in 30 minutes and a couple of beers. Otts closed at midnight since it was a sunday. So we head back to Mongo's.

When i show up to Mongo's, i see Blaze in the driveway screaming "Titties in my face, Titties in my face" and executing the correct dance to go with the song. Asks me to go, and i declined, for i had a date for the night.

Then the monster shows up an hour later, completely hammered, calling strippers to come over. Blaze has reached Go Bigdom. Well after no strippers show up, he decides he needs to leave, i talk him out of it and steal his keys.

I can't remember the exact chronoligical order of the night ( for i was not sober) but here are the events of drunkeness.

Blaze, -ate pizza off the ground
-didn't recognize his room, and decided he needs to home
- cried (actual tears) that he needs to go home
- called everyone on his phone to take him home
- then grabbed my dates ass, and to make amends for that, he grabbed my ass and reached under for a ball grab ( i was holding up my date, for she was a little drunk, that is why i was unable to stop him)
- then at the end of the night, decides to ask me if he can sleep on the couch...at his own place, and thanks me and cries again.

There is a probably a few more things i can't remember, but it was hilarious.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

San Diego Campaign

This place is way to huge to be conquered in one night. So, over the weeks weve been taking chunks out of it and the end is near. the cities of Chula Vista, Oceanside and Carlsbad have all felt the wrath. National City is coming, as is Irvine. The scene here is definetly Nightowl worthy.

-Chula Vista: Went to a spanish club with my roomate Victor, and our scip scap friend Chapparo. My roomate did most of the conquering in the place, while i was challenged to drink some mexican skank under the table. After thrashing her in a few rounds of screwdriver chugging, she proceded to bust her ass outside while smoking and get us both kicked out for being too drunk.

-Oceanside: Went to a place called Coyote to celebrate Veronica's birthday and pick up chicks. Along with Wilson, Fuhrmann, and Rakestraw (who are all hellacious lushes), we owned the club. some chubby darkness forced me to dig my fingers into her ass, then threatened to kill me 5 minutes later because i discovered her shoes were lifted. Later Fuhrmann and i decided to pick up two girls by telling them i was gay. somehow we pulled it off, and had their drunk asses on us all night.
-sidenote: whatever the fuck it is that i do on a dance floor, i guess people like it. i just thought i looked like a smashed retard

-Carlsbad: This was last night. after pregaming and playing some pool at "pizza, wings 'n things" myself, Victor, Caldwell and Gibs (our swope) went to some fucked up Irish shithole for about 10 minutes. Victor was disgusted by our surroundings, and informed us that we were in southern california, not southern Mississippi, and to G'head and get the fuck away from there. We found a place whose name i dont remember yet, and busted a set of about 8 milfs wide open. The rest of the night went down like a script out of a movie about pickup artists, and I now have a 40 year old booty call named Alison. Vin, you would love these places the most, since they have a semi strict dress code, there wont be any of that Glenburnie shit around.