Monday, May 16, 2011

Return of the Jedi

They lost, get over it.

Theres a scene during the assault on the death star that paints a very different picture than the accepted version that the rebels won against the empire. it happens just after the Death Star blows the shit out of one of the rebel fleet's ships. Lando tells Fish face they need to attack the star destroyers because they'll last longer than they would against the death star. so later on, they blow up the death star, and everyone is happy.

uh, hang on a second there buddy. there was like 30 fucking star destroyers out there, and you only took out 3 or 4. Also, by the time the Death Star is gone, there are less than a half dozen fighters left for the rebels. yeah the death star is gone, but you have no defense against the remaining empire ships. do you think they'd just give up after that? fuck no they wouldnt. their evil bosses that abused them their entire careers are dead, and now its time to find out who the new commander is.

So youve got 25ish star destroyers with hundreds of TIE fighters, looking at a pathetic rebel fleet sitting there celebrating because they killed the Bin Laden of space. laughing RIGHT IN THEIR FACES. add another 3 minutes onto that movie and you'd have the flaming pieces of every rebel spaceship screaming through the atmosphere and landing on Ewoks.

as for anyone still alive down on Endor? do you really think theyre going to escape in their little landing crafts? fuck no. the new commander in chief of the Empire is going to bomb the fucking shit out of them until the only thing left is the bad memories of Skywalker incest. And with all the hardcore fanatic rebels dead, the Empire is now free to absolutely dominate the galaxy, and have as many green, tentacle headed prostitutes born into slavery as they want. Way to restore freedom to the universe, you stupid assholes.

1 comment:

JollyRed said...

I know this might be pushing more towards my inner geek side, but if you read the books or graphic novels its gets into that whole concept.