Fuck Tolerance

Since yelling at people on airplanes and at the airport would get me thrown in a cell, I'm doing it here.

1. Fat Love
Ok, so your fat significant other has gotten off the plane to visit or come back to you. Now you want to smash your chins and guts together while making out in the terminal in front of hundreds of people. knock it off. I realize you wont be getting intimate during your weekend vacation at the cheesecake factory, but for christ sake at least wait until you get to the parking garage to use up all your energy.

2. Snowboots
Why the hell are women walking around in snowboots in phoenix. Why the hell are you wearing snowboots at all?

3. Yammering Bitch and Jaded Moron
A guy sits next to a nice looking chick on the airplane. Naturally he loses control and his primordial brain thinks he has a shot at her. He says something like, "so where ya headed." Mistake one, you already know where shes headed asshole; to the next city, and then away from you. Mistake two, you've now opened a window for this broad to run her fuckin mouth for the entire flight, making it impossible for anyone within 6 rows to sleep or think, instead of using all their concentration trying to not hear her stories about nothing.

4. Gay Attendant
Look dude, I'm sorry you ended up handing out pretzels and headphones for some dumbass movie. That doesnt mean you have to walk around the plane the whole time fucking with people. Telling them to put their seatbelt on here, hawking your god damn snackbox there. Yeah thanks for that 5$ box of lemon cookies and hippie crackers with the fucked up organic cheesespread. (I bought one, but i was starving god damn it.)

5. Businessman
My all time most hated. The guy with the black wall street coat and the briefcase stuffed with a laptop and his "papers". Before the flight, this guy will yell into his cell phone about real estate to making copies of shit to whatever 5 star hotel he'll be staying at on his companiy's dime. Thanks a lot asshole, but since you've informed everyone at the gate that you personally think youre a bigshot, let me inform you that nobody gives a flying rat's hemmoroid covered ass. By the way, buying first class tickets on an intercontinental flight not only makes you look like a complete shit head, its also the biggest waste of money you could have made on your trip. And dont give me that look when I buy the snackbox dickweed, not all of us can live off of Marriot continental breakfasts and starbucks you yuppie faggot.