Ground side, Bilbo, and Cobble Wobble

Wow. So much shit has happened and i feel like its gone by so fast its only been a few weeks. first off, thank god i was recalled as a sergeant, because the ground guys treat everyone below that like complete shit. Ive actually had to sit down and have a talk with a female LCpl about why she shouldnt call me sergeant every 2 seconds. for christs sake the rank isnt punctuation. Even though this is a shitty supply battalion, It boggles the mind how different it is from the wing. I'm not going to say "OH IVE BEEN GROUND SIDE YOU GUYS JUST DONT KNOW....YOU DONT FUCKIN KNOW" all im saying is thank god for the wing, because ground units are fucking stupid. I have never seen so many NJP's for stupid shit in my life, and our CO is a total piece himself! classic case of a trick ass. no let me rephrase, this guy REDEFINES the definition of trick ass. Imagine if you will, the most self serving scumbag on the face of planet earth, being put in a position where he has 900 toy soldiers to move across a map like hes playing a game of risk. except the only problem is, hes moving them across territory he already owns. so what does he do? well, he fucks with them of course! since there is nobody here to outroll with double sixes, he just starts throwing infractions around like fucking captain sobel from band of brothers. so yeah like i said before, its gay.

On to my next point, which involves Fez.

Fez. i want you to read this as if youre seeing it yourself. Youre sitting in an office in front of a computer, and behind you a door opens. you hear the pitter patter of little tiny footprints, and you know whose they are. its SSgt Bilbrey, the 5 foot nothing munchkin who resembles a hobbit 10 times better than yufit ever could. I am not even fucking kidding. I cannot count the times i have thought of your reaction if you were to see this guy. dude...seriously, i dont even know what else to say, i'm going to have to take a picture and post it for you to believe the amount of laughter i get at this guys expense, because i know, no matter how much i may get used to him being around me, you would never NEVER be able to keep a straight face while he is in the same room.

Lastly. Jolly I have not gotten your package as of this date, but, i have gotten one from fez and my dad. and let me say, good got you guys have found a way to go big through the postal service. Already i have more booze than we had in OIF3 and 4 combined. just to give you an idea, my dad sent 750ml bottles of seagrams, gilbeys and capt, and i receieved a bottle of COBBLE WOBBLE from fez. ANYWAY. that is a lot for now. all I can say is Gunnamatna! and i am fucked up from the seagrams my dad sent. gunna. fucking. matna.

Have Fun Golfing

Thats right pig fuckers, I hope you enjoyed your 6 games of the playoffs. Maybe next year you wont collapse like....well, like the Flyers. For a while there it looked like "Flyers Hockey" might well be alive still, and the broad street bully strategy wasnt a tired prehistoric failure.

Then the Penguins realized something. Daniel Briere looks like a pasty, freakish mixture of a hobbit and michael jackson, with the biggest difference being that the hobbit has a ring. This little phenomenon of human genetic mutation is slightly less intimidating than your average quadrapeligic chihuahua with its mouth glued shut, and was a prime candidate to be shoved around like gary coleman in a biker mosh pit.

anyways it was fun watching them blow a 3-0 lead with their season on the line, it was a good pick me up after a shitty day. Thanks for the charity work.

If you want to feel a little better.

Start reading some of these peoples horrible lives and feel a little better about life.

http://www.fmylife.com/

Request

the deployment is getting gay. extremely gay. assistance is needed in the form of you know what. if anyone is able to help, it would be greatly appreciated. dont care what it is, but a portion of Teq is preferable. again i cant stress enough how gay it is here. this is the gayest "combat" zone ever. its gayer than richard simmons at a hotdog eating contest.

sgt "Kaiser", CLB-7 H&S
41735 FPOAP 96426-1735

that is the magic code to deliver salvation to the middle east. fuck the starving fucks in somalia for now, let them hijack sally strothers' barge full of rice if they want to eat.

http://youshouldhaveseenthis.com/

Funny old lady

Fez

As most of you might know already, I am not the most well spoken individual out there. In fact, I am one of the most low-down, fucked up, arrogant, and dick headed people when it comes to addressing people and their feelings and shit. So with that in mind, please keep in mind, I write as I speak. There will be a lot of "yo" and "fuck" and "shit". Who knows, maybe some mother fuckers and all sorts of other shit that is involved in my daily regiment of language.


Flash Back March 19th - 715pm EST

Had a long day at work, so I decided that when a few people addressed the fact that they hadn't seen me in a bit, I went to Otts (the local bar). Arrived around 8, and it being somewhat of Spring Break or some shit, I see a ton of people that I know but whom I could give two flying fucks about or about their shitty fucking lives and what they are doing with their fucked existence. So I shrug them off as quick as they came over and continue to pound Corona's (no fruit, if I want fruit in my drink I will order a raspberry cosmo or some other faggot shit) and mind erasers, ith total intentions of being home by 11pm so that I can be on time for work friday. Needless to say 11 had come and gone and I am still at the bar, drinking like a fucking fish and getting dangerously close to getting flagged and asked to leave. So my brainiac idea, preemptive strike that flagging and just leave, I NEED TITTIES IN MY FACE was being shouted as I left the bar. I now find myself in the parking lot of my favorite titty bar, wad of cash in hand, a sick pack in the other and nothing but tits and ass on my mind. I stumble to the door, and realize one shitty fucking fact. NO ID! They wont let me in. I left it at the bar on the oposite side of the highway. SO I walk back to my car, go to grab my keys, dont have em, look in all my pockets and the ground, NOPE! I peer into the window my keys are in the ignition. So i have 2 choices here:
1. Call my parents, get them to bring me my spare key and take the hit on tits and go home.
2. Walk to the bar, grab my ID, get tits in my face, call a cab, get my spare and get my car in the morning.

Being the clever Nightowl I am, I obviously choose option 2. I start awlking my happy ass across the street (6 lane highway). I then decide, this walk is taking long ( maybe about 300 yards or less from the tits to the ID), I sit on the Jersey Barrier and drink a beer. Go get my ID, get titties in my face from my favorite tittie bar stripper, and call a cab. No cabs at 2am on a thursday night, in fact nobody i know is awake, and i have no fucking awy to get the fuck home. I start hoofing it, i get about half way, when gods good grace shined upon me. I am walking passed the 24hr McDonalds and I see a car that I recognize, so I walk up to it, nobody in it, i wait about 30 minutes and out from the motel accross the way comes my boy, with a shit eatting grin on his face. He wanted titties too, but went the whole other way about it. All in all I got home at 330 in the morning, took a shower, and passed out on my floor. I was late to work, took me forever to find my spare, and was still drunk all the next day, almost destroying my entire friday (like that is possible).

I have another story, but I ill save that for a bit later.

What the foooooook.

Does anyone else look at this anymore....is anyone going big?

Well I don't have any good stories to tell, except i blacked out 2 weekends ago and i woke up with Moby Dick Sister.

Please people, start posting about some debauchery soon.

Alright

Well, i decided to try to design a shirt. I am going for cheapness here, but i still want it to look cool. The back would have all the names and the front would be gunnamatna and the motto.

I think everyone should try to design a t-shirt and we would go with the best one. I used a site called: www.uberprints.com

Fez

Death of a Tolerance

So here I am, in Al Asad, my new duty station. I can hardly describe this as a deployment, since my job is basically to sit on my ass and watch movies on the share drive. However there is still a major significance to me during this faggotry.

Before coming out here, I had been in the states for over two years consecutively. Over that period of time i built up by far and away the most impressive tolerance of my life. during the run up to the deployment, a 12 pack was used nightly to get myself a little bit drowsy so i could sleep. Whenever the other recalls asked about my drinking, the hows and whys always came back to my time in the golden years of the Nightowls. Of course they didnt fully understand, but a few of them were eager to join in and be summarily punished by the flavaz.

I will greatly miss this tolerance, even though it cost a fucking fortune to drink when i wanted to.

Fez, your trip to philly is definetly one of the greatest things i have ever read. That weekend should have its own campaign medal for all involved.

Blaze, How have you not been promoted yet? The latest post about you seals what should have already been a deal. Senior Nightowl it is.

peace for now bitches, Gunnamatna.