Death of a Tolerance

So here I am, in Al Asad, my new duty station. I can hardly describe this as a deployment, since my job is basically to sit on my ass and watch movies on the share drive. However there is still a major significance to me during this faggotry.

Before coming out here, I had been in the states for over two years consecutively. Over that period of time i built up by far and away the most impressive tolerance of my life. during the run up to the deployment, a 12 pack was used nightly to get myself a little bit drowsy so i could sleep. Whenever the other recalls asked about my drinking, the hows and whys always came back to my time in the golden years of the Nightowls. Of course they didnt fully understand, but a few of them were eager to join in and be summarily punished by the flavaz.

I will greatly miss this tolerance, even though it cost a fucking fortune to drink when i wanted to.

Fez, your trip to philly is definetly one of the greatest things i have ever read. That weekend should have its own campaign medal for all involved.

Blaze, How have you not been promoted yet? The latest post about you seals what should have already been a deal. Senior Nightowl it is.

peace for now bitches, Gunnamatna.

New Jerseys

So,

Kaiser, I have been wondering where you got the jersey's from. I want to make some new ones. Certain folk don't have any, and i believe it is time to get everyone a jersey.

Any ideas?

fez

For Booty Calls that have no excuse typing on the MATNA

That's right, you have to earn a spot to type on here. Check back into your proper place.

Hall of fame week

In order to help Fez move he came up to my house to pick me up so we can move his shit to AZ. He comes up on the 2nd and mayhem ensued. First two nights where kinda slow just went to some local bars and took it kinda easy. The night before we were sup to leave it was a great moment in drunken nightowls history. Fez didn’t go big he went huge. The Day started out with lady problems with both me and fez’s bitches. I get a call at 9am from Fez asking what beer I would like to consume and if I want a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin donouts. By noon the monster had consumed a 12 pack and half a bottle of baileys and yes… Lazo would be jealous. By 5pm he had made numerous drunken phone calls and made a complete ass of himself that the night had just begun. We decide to go to a local bar where I know most of the people that go there with blaze me and the animal. Blazes Ex shows up a little later. We get there and fez buys everyone chili fries and beers. Winks and tells all the waiters and waitress they are cute and makes names up for them and actually gets one of the names right. I decide it was time to go after an hr because I want to be able to return to consume beer at this place again. On the way out he frisks blazes girl…when I say frisk I mean grab and grope. I bring him home and watch as he starts to fall asleep so blaze and I roll back out to the bar. This time we are drinking at chilis. We aren’t there for a few minutes when I get a phone call from my brother telling me he is trying to leave. I tell him to take the keys from him. When I get back to my house Fez is in tears crying for his keys and asking my brother to drive him to AZ for 500 dollars…. And 1000 if he doesn’t. After this he keeps bugging me and my brother for his keys so I get tired and tell my brother to give them to him and let him kill himself. Well he called my bluff and now I had to stop him from leaving. By dodging an upper cut from Ryu I throw him to the floor and get on top him and start strangling him as he is telling me I’m so tough because I can beat him up. Tears start again… More drunken phone calls to a chick to tell her he is pissed at her and tells her he loves her instead. Then we smoke cigars and calm him down to go to sleep. There is more to mention but I don’t have the time or inclination to deal with it. Just know it is in the top 3 drunken madness moments I have ever been privileged to be apart of.

Blaze the Monster

Date: Feb 15 2009,
Place: Otts, Untapped and Mongo's house

I show up to a drunk blaze at Otts, but i was sober, so i figured a couple shots won't hurt, 4 mind erasers in 30 minutes and a couple of beers. Otts closed at midnight since it was a sunday. So we head back to Mongo's.

When i show up to Mongo's, i see Blaze in the driveway screaming "Titties in my face, Titties in my face" and executing the correct dance to go with the song. Asks me to go, and i declined, for i had a date for the night.

Then the monster shows up an hour later, completely hammered, calling strippers to come over. Blaze has reached Go Bigdom. Well after no strippers show up, he decides he needs to leave, i talk him out of it and steal his keys.

I can't remember the exact chronoligical order of the night ( for i was not sober) but here are the events of drunkeness.

Blaze, -ate pizza off the ground
-didn't recognize his room, and decided he needs to home
- cried (actual tears) that he needs to go home
- called everyone on his phone to take him home
- then grabbed my dates ass, and to make amends for that, he grabbed my ass and reached under for a ball grab ( i was holding up my date, for she was a little drunk, that is why i was unable to stop him)
- then at the end of the night, decides to ask me if he can sleep on the couch...at his own place, and thanks me and cries again.

There is a probably a few more things i can't remember, but it was hilarious.

San Diego Campaign

This place is way to huge to be conquered in one night. So, over the weeks weve been taking chunks out of it and the end is near. the cities of Chula Vista, Oceanside and Carlsbad have all felt the wrath. National City is coming, as is Irvine. The scene here is definetly Nightowl worthy.

-Chula Vista: Went to a spanish club with my roomate Victor, and our scip scap friend Chapparo. My roomate did most of the conquering in the place, while i was challenged to drink some mexican skank under the table. After thrashing her in a few rounds of screwdriver chugging, she proceded to bust her ass outside while smoking and get us both kicked out for being too drunk.

-Oceanside: Went to a place called Coyote to celebrate Veronica's birthday and pick up chicks. Along with Wilson, Fuhrmann, and Rakestraw (who are all hellacious lushes), we owned the club. some chubby darkness forced me to dig my fingers into her ass, then threatened to kill me 5 minutes later because i discovered her shoes were lifted. Later Fuhrmann and i decided to pick up two girls by telling them i was gay. somehow we pulled it off, and had their drunk asses on us all night.
-sidenote: whatever the fuck it is that i do on a dance floor, i guess people like it. i just thought i looked like a smashed retard

-Carlsbad: This was last night. after pregaming and playing some pool at "pizza, wings 'n things" myself, Victor, Caldwell and Gibs (our swope) went to some fucked up Irish shithole for about 10 minutes. Victor was disgusted by our surroundings, and informed us that we were in southern california, not southern Mississippi, and to G'head and get the fuck away from there. We found a place whose name i dont remember yet, and busted a set of about 8 milfs wide open. The rest of the night went down like a script out of a movie about pickup artists, and I now have a 40 year old booty call named Alison. Vin, you would love these places the most, since they have a semi strict dress code, there wont be any of that Glenburnie shit around.

SuperBowl moment, 2009: Brenda Warner is a dumb bitch

Kurt Warner is probably an ok dude. but jesus titty fucking christ he needs a new squeeze. being charitable is one thing, but being so driven to look like a saint among sinners as a hypocrite is another.
Apparently, the warners have a tradition of picking up the check for another table when they go out to eat. nice gesture, perfectly cool. And then Brenda opens her mouth and blows it.

“I had been a single mother living on food stamps at one time who couldn’t ever afford to eat out, and I never understood why people give free meals to people who can afford them.” This is her quote. so what do they do friday night? At the cheesecake factory in Tampa, Kurt and his whorepaint covered wife pickup the tab for a group of 20 steelers fans.

In Tampa. At the cheesecake factory.

Uh...hello brenda, a group of 20 fucking steelers fans in tampa can probably afford their own god damn meal in addition to their airplane fare and superbowl tickets. How about giving up your ugly ass ridiculous royal blue "felt n' fur" coats and slop some chow into a bowl for homeless people if you actually care about the needy.

Kaiser, Relax you fuckin psycho!

Instead of a rant about how you are gonna be better than us. Put this in your spank bank and imagine the possibilities of this.

A New Kaiser

(Retracted Faggotry)

The Last 2 Nightowls leave the nest.

Finally the time has come for P and Fez to leave what has become haven for SCIP-SCAPS, SKIC SKANKS and SCALLY-WAGS. Yes, people we are leaving the tree and setting the bitch on fire.