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Funny old lady

Fez

As most of you might know already, I am not the most well spoken individual out there. In fact, I am one of the most low-down, fucked up, arrogant, and dick headed people when it comes to addressing people and their feelings and shit. So with that in mind, please keep in mind, I write as I speak. There will be a lot of "yo" and "fuck" and "shit". Who knows, maybe some mother fuckers and all sorts of other shit that is involved in my daily regiment of language.


Flash Back March 19th - 715pm EST

Had a long day at work, so I decided that when a few people addressed the fact that they hadn't seen me in a bit, I went to Otts (the local bar). Arrived around 8, and it being somewhat of Spring Break or some shit, I see a ton of people that I know but whom I could give two flying fucks about or about their shitty fucking lives and what they are doing with their fucked existence. So I shrug them off as quick as they came over and continue to pound Corona's (no fruit, if I want fruit in my drink I will order a raspberry cosmo or some other faggot shit) and mind erasers, ith total intentions of being home by 11pm so that I can be on time for work friday. Needless to say 11 had come and gone and I am still at the bar, drinking like a fucking fish and getting dangerously close to getting flagged and asked to leave. So my brainiac idea, preemptive strike that flagging and just leave, I NEED TITTIES IN MY FACE was being shouted as I left the bar. I now find myself in the parking lot of my favorite titty bar, wad of cash in hand, a sick pack in the other and nothing but tits and ass on my mind. I stumble to the door, and realize one shitty fucking fact. NO ID! They wont let me in. I left it at the bar on the oposite side of the highway. SO I walk back to my car, go to grab my keys, dont have em, look in all my pockets and the ground, NOPE! I peer into the window my keys are in the ignition. So i have 2 choices here:
1. Call my parents, get them to bring me my spare key and take the hit on tits and go home.
2. Walk to the bar, grab my ID, get tits in my face, call a cab, get my spare and get my car in the morning.

Being the clever Nightowl I am, I obviously choose option 2. I start awlking my happy ass across the street (6 lane highway). I then decide, this walk is taking long ( maybe about 300 yards or less from the tits to the ID), I sit on the Jersey Barrier and drink a beer. Go get my ID, get titties in my face from my favorite tittie bar stripper, and call a cab. No cabs at 2am on a thursday night, in fact nobody i know is awake, and i have no fucking awy to get the fuck home. I start hoofing it, i get about half way, when gods good grace shined upon me. I am walking passed the 24hr McDonalds and I see a car that I recognize, so I walk up to it, nobody in it, i wait about 30 minutes and out from the motel accross the way comes my boy, with a shit eatting grin on his face. He wanted titties too, but went the whole other way about it. All in all I got home at 330 in the morning, took a shower, and passed out on my floor. I was late to work, took me forever to find my spare, and was still drunk all the next day, almost destroying my entire friday (like that is possible).

I have another story, but I ill save that for a bit later.

What the foooooook.

Does anyone else look at this anymore....is anyone going big?

Well I don't have any good stories to tell, except i blacked out 2 weekends ago and i woke up with Moby Dick Sister.

Please people, start posting about some debauchery soon.

Alright

Well, i decided to try to design a shirt. I am going for cheapness here, but i still want it to look cool. The back would have all the names and the front would be gunnamatna and the motto.

I think everyone should try to design a t-shirt and we would go with the best one. I used a site called: www.uberprints.com

Fez

Death of a Tolerance

So here I am, in Al Asad, my new duty station. I can hardly describe this as a deployment, since my job is basically to sit on my ass and watch movies on the share drive. However there is still a major significance to me during this faggotry.

Before coming out here, I had been in the states for over two years consecutively. Over that period of time i built up by far and away the most impressive tolerance of my life. during the run up to the deployment, a 12 pack was used nightly to get myself a little bit drowsy so i could sleep. Whenever the other recalls asked about my drinking, the hows and whys always came back to my time in the golden years of the Nightowls. Of course they didnt fully understand, but a few of them were eager to join in and be summarily punished by the flavaz.

I will greatly miss this tolerance, even though it cost a fucking fortune to drink when i wanted to.

Fez, your trip to philly is definetly one of the greatest things i have ever read. That weekend should have its own campaign medal for all involved.

Blaze, How have you not been promoted yet? The latest post about you seals what should have already been a deal. Senior Nightowl it is.

peace for now bitches, Gunnamatna.

New Jerseys

So,

Kaiser, I have been wondering where you got the jersey's from. I want to make some new ones. Certain folk don't have any, and i believe it is time to get everyone a jersey.

Any ideas?

fez

For Booty Calls that have no excuse typing on the MATNA

That's right, you have to earn a spot to type on here. Check back into your proper place.

Hall of fame week

In order to help Fez move he came up to my house to pick me up so we can move his shit to AZ. He comes up on the 2nd and mayhem ensued. First two nights where kinda slow just went to some local bars and took it kinda easy. The night before we were sup to leave it was a great moment in drunken nightowls history. Fez didn’t go big he went huge. The Day started out with lady problems with both me and fez’s bitches. I get a call at 9am from Fez asking what beer I would like to consume and if I want a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin donouts. By noon the monster had consumed a 12 pack and half a bottle of baileys and yes… Lazo would be jealous. By 5pm he had made numerous drunken phone calls and made a complete ass of himself that the night had just begun. We decide to go to a local bar where I know most of the people that go there with blaze me and the animal. Blazes Ex shows up a little later. We get there and fez buys everyone chili fries and beers. Winks and tells all the waiters and waitress they are cute and makes names up for them and actually gets one of the names right. I decide it was time to go after an hr because I want to be able to return to consume beer at this place again. On the way out he frisks blazes girl…when I say frisk I mean grab and grope. I bring him home and watch as he starts to fall asleep so blaze and I roll back out to the bar. This time we are drinking at chilis. We aren’t there for a few minutes when I get a phone call from my brother telling me he is trying to leave. I tell him to take the keys from him. When I get back to my house Fez is in tears crying for his keys and asking my brother to drive him to AZ for 500 dollars…. And 1000 if he doesn’t. After this he keeps bugging me and my brother for his keys so I get tired and tell my brother to give them to him and let him kill himself. Well he called my bluff and now I had to stop him from leaving. By dodging an upper cut from Ryu I throw him to the floor and get on top him and start strangling him as he is telling me I’m so tough because I can beat him up. Tears start again… More drunken phone calls to a chick to tell her he is pissed at her and tells her he loves her instead. Then we smoke cigars and calm him down to go to sleep. There is more to mention but I don’t have the time or inclination to deal with it. Just know it is in the top 3 drunken madness moments I have ever been privileged to be apart of.

Blaze the Monster

Date: Feb 15 2009,
Place: Otts, Untapped and Mongo's house

I show up to a drunk blaze at Otts, but i was sober, so i figured a couple shots won't hurt, 4 mind erasers in 30 minutes and a couple of beers. Otts closed at midnight since it was a sunday. So we head back to Mongo's.

When i show up to Mongo's, i see Blaze in the driveway screaming "Titties in my face, Titties in my face" and executing the correct dance to go with the song. Asks me to go, and i declined, for i had a date for the night.

Then the monster shows up an hour later, completely hammered, calling strippers to come over. Blaze has reached Go Bigdom. Well after no strippers show up, he decides he needs to leave, i talk him out of it and steal his keys.

I can't remember the exact chronoligical order of the night ( for i was not sober) but here are the events of drunkeness.

Blaze, -ate pizza off the ground
-didn't recognize his room, and decided he needs to home
- cried (actual tears) that he needs to go home
- called everyone on his phone to take him home
- then grabbed my dates ass, and to make amends for that, he grabbed my ass and reached under for a ball grab ( i was holding up my date, for she was a little drunk, that is why i was unable to stop him)
- then at the end of the night, decides to ask me if he can sleep on the couch...at his own place, and thanks me and cries again.

There is a probably a few more things i can't remember, but it was hilarious.